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Markus Anecdotes - Selling jewelry through online marketplaces

Written by Markus, with some photos by Markus' Team

Since about a year I sell jewelry through online market places. The site I use is marktplaats.nl and it is comparable to Carousell.


It goes quite well. I buy jewelry from trusted wholesalers. Upon receipt I check if it is all real. Items above 3k Euro’s I’ll have certified. Once this is done, I list my items and in average they’ll sell in a couple of week. And then this cycle repeats.


As this is a marketplace and not an auction, contact with a client generally starts with the buyer asking if the item is still available, what is my best price and so on. About half of these buyers are serious buyers. About a quarter are people interested but have no budget to actually buy. And a quarter is just weird.


I thought to share some of these weird conversations. Conversations occur in chats. So when you message someone, a chat opens with that person.

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Buyer: Hi, Is this item still available? Me: Yes, I just posted it Buyer: Great, good to hear Me: Are you interested in buying this item? Buyer: No, not at all. Why do you ask?

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Buyer: I offer 1500 Euro for this item Me: Great. I accept your offer. When would you like to come by our shop to pick it up? Buyer: I can come on Tuesday and I offer 1200 Euro. Me: 1200 is too low, but you already offered 1500 and I accepted that offer Buyer: That wasn’t me

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Buyer: Hi, I want to buy this item for 25 euro but it is for me too far to pick up. It’s a two hour drive Me: Okay, you can have it shipped instead. I’ll waive shipping cost. Buyer: You are trying to scam me! You must bring it to me in person!

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-After having made a deal for delivery of a 5k Euro ring-


Me: Hi, I was at your door, but nobody was home Buyer: I was home Me: I rang the doorbell for 5 times and waited 15 minutes Buyer: I was on the toilet Me: For 15 minutes? Buyer: Yes, I ate some food yesterday and it just kept coming. A non-stop tsunami turning my insides out. Afterwards I spend 1 hour cleaning my living room, hallway and toilet Me: Too much information. Good luck. Buyer: Thanks. I’m on the toilet but ran out of toilet paper _________________________________________________


Buyer: We have been hit by the Corona crisis but would like this necklace. We have 1500 euro and then would have nothing left for food and rent. I have 3 children. Can you agree to 1500?


Me: If you are in a financial crisis, maybe now is not the moment to buy luxury goods? Buyer: What a nonsense! I will buy what I want and my family can eat shit! Me: I know this dude who likes very good food. Maybe you should talk to him.

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Buyer: Send me a picture of your face. I want to see who I deal with Me: I don’t send pictures of myself. But you don’t have to worry. I have 100% positive feedback from over 200 buyers Buyer: Send me your face! Now! Buyer: Do you want to sit on my face Me: no thanks Buyer: Or jumping? Me: Sorry, no thanks Buyer: I’ll pay for it

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Buyer: Can I pick up this pendant for 10 Euro’s. Me: Sure. I’m home all day Buyer: Great, I’ll see you at 7 pm Buyer: I am on the way, but got very hungry. I bought the biggest burger with fries at Burger King and spend 15 euro. It was so big, I could only eat half. But I did spend 15 euro. Can we agree to trade the pendant for 5 euro’s plus half a burger? I’m looking forward to our trade.

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Buyer: Hi. I like this necklace but am not sure it looks nice when wearing. Can you send me a picture of you wearing this necklace? Me: Sure, here you go, please find attached.


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Buyer: I also have this Love bracelet with diamonds, but lost the screwdriver. Can I just buy the screw driver for 10 euro?


Me: you can buy the screwdriver for 4000 euro and I’ll throw the bracelet for free

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Buyer: My offer is 1250 euro Me: sorry, that is way too low. My asking price is 4999 Euro, but I can do 4000 Buyer: 1400 euro? Me: 3900? Buyer: 2500 euro? Me: 3800? Buyer: 3000? Me: 4100? Buyer: 4000? Me: 4500? Buyer: 4250? Me: Deal

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Buyer: Hi, I’m interested in these stockings Me: Great, price is only 10 euro and shipping is free Buyer: Are they used? Me: No, they are brand new in original sealed packaging Buyer: Oh. Never mind then

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Buyer: <june 22nd, 2021>: Hi, I would like to buy it. Can you reserve it for me? Me: <june 22nd, 2021>: Sure, when would you like to pick it up Buyer: Soon, I need to be in the neighborhood Buyer: <feb 12th, 2022> I’m ready to pick it up Me: It’s half a year later. Item is gone Buyer: But I saved up and bought a car, just to drive to you. This took a while Me: Sorry Buyer: You want to buy a car?

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My conclusion: When selling online, you must have patience and a good dose of humor.


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