Markus Anecdotes-How I Tried to Cook Like a Dutch Grandma While Managing 9 Fur Kids

Written by Markus, with Photos by Markus

From 34°C Shiok to 3°C Siao: How I Tried to Cook Like a Dutch Grandma While Managing 9 Fur Kids

If you had told Singapore-me ten years ago that future-me would be standing in a freezing Dutch kitchen, mashing orange vegetables, surrounded by seven cats and two dogs judging my life choices, I would have said:

“Eh please lah, don’t bluff. I still cannot even tahan the air-con at Don Don Donki.”

Back then, “winter cooking” meant:

• Sitting in a freezing (read: 22°C) hawker centre

• Ordering laksa

• Complaining that “wah the air-con damn strong siah”

• And putting on a cardigan that had not seen daylight since 2018.

Fast forward to today.

Now winter means:

• Ice on bicycle seats (seriously, why)

• Fog thicker than kaya

• Sun sets at 4 p.m. like some scam

• And me wrapped like a bak zhang trying to cook food that looks like medieval survival rations.

Meanwhile, my household is basically Singapore Zoo + drama club + Michelin kitchen inspection rolled into one:

• 2 dogs:

  • Roxy the dachshund — Chief Food Inspector, Head of Emotional Manipulation

  • Dog #2 — Professional Sigh-er, Full-time Beggar

• 7 British shorthair cats:

  • Some elegant like Tai Tai

  • Some round like pandan cake

  • One stares at me like I owe him $500

  • One behaves like he is the landlord of my house

In Singapore, I used to worry about mosquitoes.In Tilburg, I worry about cats stealing my sausage.

This month, instead of writing about trains, strikes, or Dutch people asking “Heb je al gegeten?” like it’s a national religion, I decided to fully commit to Dutch winter life and cook three legendary dishes:

1. Hutspot met rookworst — Dutch mashed chaos

2. Erwtensoep (snert) — soup so thick it can stand on its own

3. Hachee — slow beef stew that tests your patience

I thought this would be cultural enrichment.Instead, it became a reality show titled:

“Can She Cook Without Tripping Over a Dog, Burning a Cat, or Losing Her Sanity?”

“Some of my fur children preparing to ‘help’ in the kitchen. Notice the judgment in their eyes.”

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DISH 1 — HUTSPOT: ORANGE MASH THAT STARTED A WAR (AND A CAT RIOT)

If you’re Singaporean, imagine this:

Take your KFC mashed potato.Mix it with chopped carrots and onions.Plonk a giant smoked sausage on top.Drown everything in gravy.

Voilà — Dutch comfort food.

First time I saw hutspot, I said:“Eh… everything mash together? Like adult baby food is it?”

My friend nearly fainted.

For him, hutspot is not dinner.It is heritage, identity, and emotional stability.

Why Dutch people love this so much?

Hutspot is tied to the Siege of Leiden in 1574. Legend says Spanish soldiers ran away, left behind a pot of veggies, and starving Dutch people cooked it and survived.

Every 3 October, Leiden celebrates by eating hutspot.

I imagine the scene:

Dutch soldier: “We are starving!”Dutch grandma: “Relax lah, I mash everything together.”Dutch cat in 1574: “Got sausage or not?”

Historians say potatoes weren’t even originally in hutspot. But you know Dutch people — see potato, confirm must mash.

Cooking hutspot with 9 furry kitchen critics

I peeled potatoes, feeling very “Dutch energy.”

Within 30 seconds:

• Roxy (my dachshund) strutted in like she owns my house

• One cat jumped on the counter

• Two cats sat on the dining table

• One climbed the fridge

• One stared at me like “later we talk”

I chopped carrots.A cat stole a piece and played football across my kitchen.

I sliced onions.Another cat sat so close to my cutting board I was scared I’d accidentally julienne him.

When I put everything in the pot, all seven cats formed a semicircle like a parliamentary debate.

Meanwhile both dogs lay exactly where I needed to stand.

Every step was like:“Choose: trip over dog or fall into pot.”

When I mashed everything with butter and milk, my kitchen looked like:

• 40% food

• 40% fur

• 20% chaos

My friend happily sat down to eat.Roxy stared at his rookworst like it personally betrayed her.

“Hutspot met rookworst — looks simple, tastes like Dutch childhood trauma (but in a nice way).”

Classic Hutspot Recipe (for humans lah)

Ingredients (serves 4):

• 1 kg potatoes

• 500 g carrots

• 2 large onions

• 1 tbsp butter

• 100 ml milk

• Salt & pepper

• 4 rookworst

• 200 ml gravy

Method:

1. Boil potatoes, carrots, onions together.

2. Drain.

3. Add butter + milk.

4. Mash everything until smooth.

5. Heat sausages separately.

6. Serve with gravy.

Result: warm, sweet, savory — perfect after freezing your butt off on a Dutch bicycle.

DISH 2 — ERWTENSOEP (SNERT): THE SOUP THAT IS NOT SOUP

If Singapore has laksa, the Netherlands has snert.

But while laksa is sexy, spicy, and fragrant, snert is:

• Thick

• Green

• Intimidating

• Slightly suspicious

Dutch people proudly say:“If your spoon sinks, your snert is wrong.”

In Singapore terms, that’s like turning bak kut teh into kaya spread.

Why this soup so serious?

Erwtensoep was eaten by sailors, soldiers, and farmers for centuries — cheap, filling, and keeps you alive in winter.

I imagine Dutch sailors in the 1600s eating snert while cats stole pork off the deck like today’s marina stray cats.

Every family has their own recipe.And every Dutch person will say:“My grandma’s is the best.”

Confirm same energy as Singapore aunties with chicken rice.

Cooking snert with fur everywhere

I poured split peas into a giant pot.

Immediately three cats appeared like I pressed a summon button.

One sat so close to the stove I was scared I’d accidentally slow-cook him.

As I added smoked pork ribs, carrots, leek, celery, onion — the whole house smelled smoky and cozy.

Roxy parked beside me and stared into my soul.

Her eyes said:“I see meat. Where is my share?”

Then one cat tried to climb onto the hot stove.

I screamed.The cat looked offended.

Meanwhile Dog #2, Shubby, lay on the floor sighing like she was auditioning for sad TikTok.

“Snert — so thick it can be used as wallpaper glue.”

Classic Erwtensoep Recipe (serves 6)

Ingredients:

• 500 g split peas

• 2 liters water

• 300 g smoked pork ribs

• 1 rookworst, sliced

• 2 carrots

• 1 leek

• 1 celery stalk

• 1 onion

• 2 bay leaves

• Salt & pepper

Method:

1. Boil peas gently 1.5 hours.

2. Add vegetables, simmer 30 min.

3. Remove bones, shred meat, return to pot.

4. Add sliced sausage.

Serve with dark rye bread and butter.

In Singapore you’d add chili.In Netherlands they add… pride.

DISH 3 — HACHEE: DUTCH STEW THAT TESTS YOUR SANITY

If hutspot is easy and snert is hearty, hachee is like a slow romantic drama in a pot.

Beef, onions, vinegar, bay leaves, cloves — simmered for hours until everything melts like drama in a Channel 8 show.

Dutch families eat this on Sunday because it warms the whole house.

French idea, Dutch stubbornness

“Hachee” comes from French hacher (to chop).Dutch people borrowed it, then said:“Nice. Now add more onions, more vinegar, more time.”

Typical.

Cooking hachee while two dogs stare into my soul

I browned beef in butter.

Instantly — BOOM — both dogs appeared like ninjas.

Roxy did not blink once.

Shubby started “the emotional stare.”You know that look that makes you feel guilty for eating your own food?

Meanwhile, the cats lined up on the windowsill like a jury.

One tried to knock a clove onto the floor.Another sat so close to the pot his tail was basically a fire hazard.

By the time it simmered, my house smelled like a cozy Amsterdam restaurant.

“Hachee — slow, rich, and worth every minute (unlike Dutch customer service).”

Classic Hachee Recipe (serves 4)

Ingredients:

• 1 kg beef

• 4 large onions

• 2 tbsp butter

• 2 tbsp flour

• 2 tbsp vinegar

• 2 bay leaves

• 4 cloves

• 500 ml beef stock

• Salt & pepper

Method:

1. Brown beef, remove.

2. Cook onions slowly until golden.

3. Add flour, stir.

4. Add vinegar, stock, bay leaves, cloves.

5. Return beef, simmer 2–3 hours.

Serve with boiled potatoes + sweet red cabbage.

When dinner was ready, both dogs sighed like betrayed children.

The cats pretended they never cared.

Classic.

From Singapore Heat to Dutch Winter — What I Learned

Sitting at my table that night, surrounded by:

• 2 hopeful dogs

• 7 judgmental cats

• 1 very happy Dutch husband

I realised:

In Singapore, food is about:

• Spice

• Shiok

• Sambal

• Drama

In the Netherlands, winter food is about:

• Survival

• Warmth

• Full stomach

• Quiet happiness

Different, but equally powerful.

Cooking these dishes didn’t make me Dutch —but it made me understand Dutch culture more than any language class.

Also: cooking with nine animals is professional hazard pay territory.

My official winter routine (approved by fur parliament)

• Weekdays → Hutspot (fast, safe, minimal drama)

• Saturdays → Erwtensoep (big pot, cozy vibes)

• Sundays → Hachee (patience, onions, love)

And every single time, my pets will:

• judge

• beg

• sneak

• and occasionally fall asleep on the warm floor like furry heaters.

Winter in the Netherlands may be gray.

But in my house — it is loud, ridiculous, hilarious, and full of fur.

And honestly? I wouldn’t change a thing.